Dealing with Worries and
Stress
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Introduction:
Praise be to Allâh, the Lord of the
Worlds, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate, the Master of the Day
of Judgement. I bear witness that there is no god but He, the Lord of the
earlier and later generations and Sustainer of heaven and earth. Peace and
blessings be upon the one who was sent as a Mercy to the worlds. I bear
witness that he is the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him). Peace and blessings be
upon him, upon all his Family and Companions, and upon those who believe
in his guidance and follow in his footsteps until the Day of Judgement.
It is the nature of this life that people
will suffer from worries and stress, because this world is the place of
disease, hardship and suffering. Hence among the things that distinguish
Paradise from this world is the fact that there is no worry or stress
there:
“No sense of fatigue shall touch them, nor shall they (ever) be asked to
leave.” [al-Hijr 15:48 – interpretation of the meaning].
Nothing ever upsets the people of Paradise,
not even the slightest word:
“No 'laghw' (dirty, false, evil or vain talk) will they hear therein, nor any
sinful speech (like backbiting, etc.), but only the saying of Salaam!
Salaam! (greetings with peace).” [al-Waaqi’ah 56:25-26 –
interpretation of the meaning].
It is also the nature of this life that
people have to put up with suffering and hardship for various reasons, as
is indicated in the Qur'ân (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, We have created man in toil.” [al-Balad 90:4].
So people feel regret for what has happened in the past, anxious about
what may happen in the future, and worried about what is going on in the
present.
The things that cross our
minds and make us feel distressed are things in the past that have caused
grief, things in the future that we are worried about, and things in the
present which concern us.
People react differently to stress and
worries, depending on how many things are concerning them, whether the
worry is continuous or not, and on whether they have faith in their hearts
or are rebellious and sinful. We may describe people’s hearts as being
of two types: either the heart is the throne of Allaah, filled with light,
life, happiness, joy and all the treasures of goodness; or it is the
throne of Shaytaan, wherein is distress, darkness, death, grief, worry and
anxiety.
People’s worries and concerns will also
differ, according to the differences in their motivations, circumstances
and individual responsibilities.
One type of worry or concern is that which
may be described as worthwhile worries that
are a good sign, such as a scholar’s anxiety to resolve difficult issues
concerning which the Muslims need an answer – especially when the matter
is very serious and there appears to be no solution.
Another example is the concern of the
Muslim leader about the problems of the people under his care. This is
what made the two ‘Umars (i.e. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab and ‘Umar ibn
‘Abd al-‘Azeez) and other leaders worried and anxious. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab
used to think about how to prepare the army whilst he was praying, and he
was excused for that; he also used to worry about the animals stumbling in
the land of ‘Iraaq. ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez used to express his
suffering thus: “I am dealing with something with which no one could
help me except Allaah. The elderly have reached the ends of their lives
with it (in this situation), the youth have grown up with it; the
foreigners have learnt Arabic and the Bedouin have migrated to the cities
in these circumstances. [It is so well-entrenched] that they think this is
religion, and they can see the truth nowhere else but in this.” When the
khilaafah passed to him and the people gave their bay’ah (oath of
allegiance) to him, he came home, feeling anxious and stressed. His freed
slave said to him: “Why do I see you so anxious and stressed? This is
not how you should be on such an occasion as this.” He said, “Woe to
you! How could I not be anxious when there is no one in the East nor the
West of this ummah who is not demanding his rights of me or asking me to
help settle some matter with another person, whether he writes down his
request or not, whether he asks me directly or not?”
The more any decision had to do with the
fate of the Muslims, the greater the anxiety and stress involved. Hence
when ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf was entrusted with the task of selecting
the next khaleefah for the Muslims, after the death of ‘Umar, he did not
sleep during that period, because he was so busy consulting the Muslims,
even the old women.
Other types of commendable concern include:
the concern of the dai’yah who is striving to spread Islam and convey
the message, guiding others to the path of Guidance; the concern of the
worshipper to ensure that his worship is correct both in intention and
practice; and the concern of the Muslim for the suffering of his brothers
in faith throughout the world…
Kinds of anxieties that may result from
committing sin include: the distress suffered after shedding blood
wrongfully; or the anxiety of a woman who is pregnant as a result of
fornication or adultery.
Kinds of distress that result from wrongful
treatment at the hands of others include that suffered because of
mistreatment by one's own relatives, as the poet said: “The wrong
suffered at the hands of those who are closely-related is more painful to
bear than a blow from a powerful sword.”
Distress suffered because of the calamities
that happen in this world include: chronic or serious diseases,
disobedience of children towards their parents, hostility on the part of
one’s wife or mistreatment on the part of one’s husband.
Some kinds of anxiety result from fears
about what may lie ahead in the future, for example a father may be
worried about what will happen to his children after he dies, especially
if they are weak and he has nothing to leave behind for them.
These are a few examples of different kinds
of stress and worry. We will discuss the matter in further detail below:
Kinds of Stress and Worry:
The distress suffered by the dai’yah when
he calls his people to Islam. The Prophets had more than their fair share
of this kind of stress. ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her)
told her nephew (the son of her sister) ‘Urwah that she asked the
Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allâh be upon him): “Did you ever suffer any day worse than the day
of Uhud?” He said: “I suffered what I suffered at the hands of your
people, and the worst that I suffered from them was on the day of
‘Aqabah, when I had made an appeal to Ibn ‘Abd Yaalayl ibn ‘Abd
Kalaal and he did not respond in the way I had hoped for. I left him,
hardly knowing where I was going, and I did not realize where I was until
I had reached Qarn al-Tha’aalib. I raised my head, and saw a cloud which
was shading me. I looked in it, and saw Jibraa’eel, who called to me and
said: ‘Allaah has heard what your people have said to you, and their
response to you. He has sent to you the Angel of the Mountains, to do
whatever you tell him to do to them.’ Then the Angel of the Mountains
called to me, greeted me, and said, ‘O Muhammad, if you wish, I will
crush them between two mountains.’” The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said, “Rather, I hope
that Allâh will bring forth from their descendents people who will
worship Allâh alone and not associate anything with Him.”
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) suffered similar
distress when his people disbelieved his account of his Night Journey (Israa’).
Muslim (may Allâh have mercy on him) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the
Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: “I found myself in the Hijr
(an area in the Haram in Makkah, near the Ka’bah), and Quryash were
asking me about my Night Journey, questions about Bayt al-Maqdis that I
was not sure of. I felt more distressed and anxious than I had ever felt,
then Allâh raised it for me so that I could see what they were asking me
about and answer all their questions…”
Concern about acts of worship.
The Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him) was very concerned about telling
people about salaat (prayer). Abu ‘Umayr ibn Anas reported from his
(paternal) uncles among the Ansâr that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) was worried about how
to gather the people together for prayers. Someone suggested that he set
up a flag, so that people would see it and tell one another, but he did
not like this idea. Another suggestion was a ram’s horn (the shofar of
the Jews), but he did not like this idea, and said, “This belongs to the
Jews.” Someone else suggested a bell, but he said, “This belongs to
the Christians.” ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Zayd ibn ‘Abd Rabbihi went away,
worrying about the concern of the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him), and he was shown the adhân
(call to prayer) in a dream. The next morning he came to the
Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him) and told him about it: “O Messenger
of Allâh, whilst I was half asleep and half awake, someone came to me and
showed me the adhân…”
The anxiety faced by the truthful person
when he is disbelieved.
This happened to the great Sahaabi Zayd ibn al-Arqam (may Allâh be
pleased with him), when he heard the chief of the munafiqîn (hypocrites)
saying to his colleagues: “When we return to Madinah, the one who has
pride and power will expel the one who is humiliated” (meaning that the
“one who has pride and power” was himself, and the “one who is humiliated” was the Messenger of
Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) and the people with
him). Zayd said: “I told my (paternal) uncle, and he went and informed
the Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him). The Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) sent for (the chief of
the munafiqîn, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ubayy), who swore that he had said no
such thing. The Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him) believed him and not me. My uncle
came to me and scolded me: “All you wanted was for the Messenger of Allâh (peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) and the Muslims
to hate you and disbelieve you!” I felt extreme anxiety and stress, such
as no one has ever suffered. When I was on a journey with the Messenger of
Allâh (peace and blessings
of Allâh be upon him), I hung my head with worry. Then the Messenger of Allâh (peace and blessings
of Allâh be upon him) came up to me, tweaked my ear, and smiled at me. I
felt happy in a way that I would not exchange immortal life in this world
for that feeling. Then Abu Bakr caught up with me and asked me what the
Messenger of Allâh had said to me. I said, ‘He did not say anything,
but he tweaked my ear and smiled at me.’ He told me, ‘ Be of good
cheer!’ Then ‘Umar caught up with me and I told him what I had told
Abu Bakr. The next morning, the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) recited Sűrah al-Munafiqun
to us.’”
According to a report narrated by Muslim,
which tells the same story, Zayd said: “I came to the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) and told him about it.
He sent for ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ubayy and asked him about it, but he
insisted and swore that he had done no such thing, saying, ‘Zayd is
telling lies to the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him).’ I felt very hurt
because of what they said, until Allâh revealed words confirming that I
had spoken the truth (interpretation of the meaning): ‘When the
hypocrites come to you…’ [al-Munaafiqoon 63:1]”
The anxiety suffered by an innocent
person when false accusations are made.
An example of this is what happened to ‘Aa’ishah (may Allâh be
pleased with her) when the munaafiqoon accused her of sin during the
campaign of Muraysi’. She was ill, and when she heard the news of the
rumours from one of the women of her household, she became even sicker,
and felt very distressed. She said: “I said, ‘Subhaan-Allaah! Are
people talking about that?’ I wept all night, until morning, and never
slept; my tears never stopped falling. Then I wept all day, and never
slept; my tears never stopped falling. My parents came to me the next
morning, after I had cried for two nights and a day, without ceasing and
without sleeping. They thought that this weeping would kill me. Whilst
they were sitting with me, and I was crying, a woman of the Ansâr asked
permission to see me. I gave her permission, and she sat down, weeping
with me. Whilst we were sitting thus, the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) came in, greeted us,
and sat down. He had not come to visit me since the rumours had started,
and for a month there had been no Revelation concerning my situation.
Whilst he was sitting there, the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) recited the Shahaadah,
then he said: ‘O ‘Aa’ishah, I have heard such-and-such about you. If
you are innocent, Allâh will prove your innocence, and if you did commit
a sin, then ask for Allâh's forgiveness and repent to Him, for when the
slave admits his sin and repents to Allâh, Allâh will accept his
repentance. When the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) had finished what he
had to say, my tears stopped completely, and I said to my father:
‘Respond to what the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) has said.’ He said,
‘By Allâh, I do not know what I should say to the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him).’ I said to my
mother: ‘Respond to what the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) has said.’ She said,
‘By Allâh, I do not know what I should say to the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him).’ I said: ‘I am
only a young girl and I do not know much of the Qur'ân. By Allâh, I
have nothing to say to you except the words of the father of Yoosuf:
“… So (for me) patience is most fitting. And it is Allâh (Alone)
Whose help can be sought against that which you assert.” [Yoosuf
12:18].’ Then I turned away and lay down on my bed. Then Allâh revealed
(interpretation of the meaning): ‘Verily! Those who brought forth the
slander (against ‘Aa’ishah) are a group among you. Consider it not a
bad thing for you…’” [al-Noor 24:11 – see complete passage, ayaat 11 to 20].
Before ‘Aa’ishah’s time, Maryam bint
‘Imraan had suffered a great deal of stress and anxiety because she
became pregnant without being married. Her distress reached such an extent
that: “…She said: ‘Would that I had died before this, and had been
forgotten and out of sight!’” [Maryam 19:23 – interpretation of the
meaning]. She spoke thus because she knew that people would accuse her and
not believe her when she came to them with a child in her arms, because
she had been one of the devoted female worshippers who lived in seclusion
close to the mosque, and she came from a very religious household and was
descended from Prophets. Because of all this, she bore such a great burden
of anxiety that she wished that she had died before this happened to her,
or that she “had been forgotten and out of sight,” in other words,
that she had never been created at all.
Another example is the story of the women
who was accused unjustly. ‘Aa’ishah (may Allâh be pleased with her)
told her story: “A black woman who belonged to some of the Arabs became
Muslim. She had a cubicle in the mosque. She used to come to us and talk
with us, and when she had finished conversing with us, she told us: ‘The
day of the wishaah (an ornamented girdle worn by women) was one of the
wonders of our Lord. Indeed, it is He Who saved me from the land of kufr
(disbelief).’” When she repeated this several times, ‘Aa’ishah
asked her, “What was the day of the girdle?” She said: “A young girl
who belonged to some of my people went out wearing a girdle made of
leather. She dropped it, and a kite (a kind of hawk) came and swooped it
up, thinking that it was a piece of meat. They accused me of taking it,
and they began to punish me, to the extent that they even searched my
private parts. Whilst they were surrounding me and I was in that state of
distress, the kite flew back over our heads and dropped the belt. They
picked it up, and I said to them: ‘This is what you accused me of, and I
was innocent!’”
A man’s worry about what may happen to
his wife and children after his death. ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be
pleased with her) reported that the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: “One of
the things that concerns me is what will happen to you [his wives] after
my death, for none will be able to take care of you properly except those
who are truly patient.”
Anxiety because of a loan.
An example of this is what happened to al-Zubayr (may Allaah be pleased
with him), whose story was told by his son ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Zubayr:
“When al-Zubayr stood up to fight at the Battle of the Camel, he called
me, so I went and stood by his side. He said: ‘O my son, no-one will be
killed today except one who is a wrongdoer or one to whom wrong is done. I
can see that I will die today as one to whom wrong is done. My greatest
concern is my debts – do you think that any of our wealth will be left
after paying off our debts? O my son, sell our property and pay off our
debts.’” ‘Abd-Allah said: “He started to advise me what to do
about his debt, and told me: ‘O my son, if you are unable to pay off
anything, seek the help of my mawlaa.’ By Allâh, I did not know what he
meant until I asked, ‘O my father, who is your mawlaa?’ He said: ‘Allaah.’
By Allaah, every time I felt distress because of difficulty in paying off
his debt, I prayed, ‘O Mawlaa of al-Zubayr, pay off his debt,’ and
Allaah paid it off…’” ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Zubayr said: “I
calculated how much he owed, and found it to be two million and two
hundred thousand… (some of al-Zubayr’s friends did not think it
possible to pay off such a great debt, but Allâh greatly blessed some
land belonging to al-Zubayr, and surprisingly enough, when it was divided
up and sold off, there was enough to pay off the debt and have something
left over)…Al-Zubayr had four wives: one-third of his wealth was put
aside for them, and each wife got one million and two hundred thousand.
The total sum of his wealth was fifty million and two hundred thousand.”
Anxiety caused by dreams.
This happened to the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him), as he said: “Whilst I was
sleeping, the treasures of the earth were brought to me, and two armlets
of gold were placed on my arms. That distressed me, but Allâh revealed to
me that I should blow them away, so I did so, and they disappeared. I
interpreted them as being the two liars whom I am facing, the one in
Sana’aa’ and the one in al-Yamaamah.”
Ibn ‘Umar (may Allâh be pleased with him
and his father) also felt distress because of a dream which he saw. He
told us about it: “Some men among the Companions of the Messenger of Allâh (peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) used to see
dreams at the time of the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him). They used to tell him
about them, and he would say ‘Masha’Allâh.’ I was a young boy,
and I used to live in the mosque before I got married. I said to myself,
‘If you were any good, you would have seen something like these people
have seen.’ When I lay down that night, I said, ‘O Allâh, if You see
any good in me, then let me see a dream.’ Then two angels came to me,
each of whom was holding an iron bridle in his hand. They dragged me to
Hell, and I was praying, ‘O Allâh, I seek refuge with you from Hell.’
Then I dreamt that I was met by another angel, who was also holding an
iron bridle in his hand. He said, ‘Do not worry, you are a good man, if
only you prayed more.’ They took me to the edge of Hell, and it was
shaped like a well with horns; between every two horns was an angel
holding an iron bridle. I saw in it men suspended upside down from chains,
and I recognized some men of Quraysh. Then they led me off towards the
right. I told Hafsah about it, and Hafsah told the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him). (According to a report
narrated by Muslim: “When I woke up, I felt worried and scared about
what I had seen, so I asked Hafsah about it, and she said, ‘It is good,
what you have seen.’ I said to her, ‘Ask the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) about it,’ so she
asked him.”) The Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: ‘ ‘Abd-Allaah
is a righteous man, if only he prayed at night.’” Naafi’ said:
“After that, he always prayed a great deal.”
Islam prescribes a number of ways to deal
with the distress that results from seeing nightmares and frightening
dreams.
Having described a number of kinds of
distress and anxiety experienced in this world, we will now discuss ways
of dealing with them.
Undoubtedly the first thing we should
mention when discussing worries and anxiety is: ‘aqeedah
(belief) and îmân (faith), and the effects
they have on dealing with stress. One can see many of the kuffaar
and Muslims who are weak in faith suffering breakdowns and committing
suicide in an effort to rid themselves of depression, frustration and
despair when they get into trouble or when disaster strikes.
Hospitals are full of patients who are suicidal or have suffered nervous
breakdowns, or other kinds of psychological trauma. These problems affect
many of those who are strong, let alone those who are weak. How often they
lead to complete incapacity and loss of sanity!
The person who has been guided to Islam, if
his ‘aqidah is sound and his îmân is strong, will find the cure in
that which has come from Allâh, the All-Knowing and All-Aware, Who
created all things and Who knows best what befits His creation.
“Should not He Who has created know? And He is the Most Kind and
Courteous (to His slaves) All-Aware (of everything).” [al-Mulk 67:14 –
interpretation of the meaning].
Islam's Treatment for Anxiety and Worry
Let us now discuss some of the different
kinds of remedies and treatments taught by Islam:
1. Equipping oneself with îmân (faith), accompanied by righteous deeds.
Allâh says (interpretation of the
meaning): “Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he
(or she) is a true believer, verily, to him We will give a good life (in
this world, with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall
pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to
do (i.e., Paradise in the Hereafter).” [al-Nahl 16:97]
The reason for this is clear: the believers
in Allâh whose faith is correct and motivates them to do righteous deeds
that reform their hearts and characters, and change their status in this
world and the next, have the basic principles according to which they deal
with every kind of joy and grief that they may face. They receive
blessings and joys with acceptance and thanksgiving, and put them to use
in beneficial ways. When they do this, they feel happy and hope that it
will last and will bring them reward for their gratitude, as well as other
things that will supercede the original goodness and blessings.
When faced with distress, harm, worries and
anxieties, they try to resist them and reduce them as much as they can,
and they react with befitting patience to the things in which they have no
choice. They gain a lot of benefits as a result, such as: resilience and
toughness as is appropriate; useful experience, strong willpower,
patience, the hope of reward, and many other benefits which reduce the
distress felt. Thus their anxiety is replaced with joy and the hope of
blessings and reward from Allâh, as the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) stated in the saheeh
hadeeth: “How marvellous is the affair of the believer! Everything that
happens to him is good, and this does not apply to anyone except the
believer. If something good befalls him, he gives thanks for it, and that
is good for him. If something bad befalls him, he bears it with patience,
and that is good for him.”
This is the way in which we may view
calamities in a positive light. Another example is:
2. Thinking of how the Muslim may earn
expiation for his sins, purify his heart and raise his status, when he is
stricken with distress and worry in this life.
The Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: “Nothing of
fatigue, illness, distress, worry, grief or harm befalls the Muslim, not
even a prick from a thorn, but Allaah will accept it as expiation for some
of his sins.”
According to a report narrated by Muslim:
“No illness, fatigue, sickness or grief befalls the Muslim, not even
worries, but it will be an expiation for some of his sins.”
The one who is distressed or worried should
know that whatever psychological pain afflicts him is not wasted, but
serves a purpose in increasing his hasanaat (good deeds) and expiating for
his sayi’aat (bad deeds). The Muslim should realize that if it were not
for disasters and afflictions, we would come empty-handed on the Day of
Resurrection, as some of the salaf (early generations of Islam) pointed
out, which is why they would rejoice when misfortune struck just as we
rejoice at times of ease.
When a person understands how the disasters
that befall him expiate for his sins, he will rejoice and be of good
cheer, especially if that happens to him straight after he has committed a
sin, as happened to some of the Sahaabah, may Allâh be pleased with them.
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mughaffal (may Allâh be pleased with him) reported that
a man met a woman who had been a prostitute during the time of Jâhilîyah.
He started to joke with her, then he touched her. She told him, “Watch
it! Allâh has destroyed shirk (once ‘Affaan said: has destroyed Jâhilîyah) and has brought us Islam.” The man went away, and walked
into a wall, cutting his face. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) came along, so
the man told him what had happened, and he said: “You are a slave for
whom Allah wishes good. When Allâh wishes good for His slave, He hastens
the punishment for his sin; when He does not wish good for His slave, he
withholds the punishment until the matter is settled on the Day of
Resurrection, when all of his sins will be brought forth together.”
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: “When Allâh wishes good for His slave, He hastens to bring about his punishment in
this world, and if He does not wish good for him, He withholds the
punishment until he is dealt with for his sin on the Day of
Resurrection.”
3. Understanding the reality of this
world
The believer knows that this world is
only temporary, that its luxuries are few, and that whatever pleasures
exist here are always imperfect. If it causes a little laughter, it gives
many reasons to weep; if it gives a little, it withholds far more. The
believer is only detained here, as the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: “This world is
the prison of the believer and the paradise of the kâfir.”
This world is also fatigue, pain, misery
and suffering, so the believer feels relief when he departs from it. Abu
Qutaadah ibn Rib’i al-Ansaari used to say that a funeral passed the
Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him) and he said: “He is now relieved,
and people feel relieved of him.” The people asked, “O Messenger of Allâh, how can he be relieved and people feel relieved of him?” He
said, “The believing slave (who dies) is relieved of the fatigue and
pain of this world and has gone to the mercy of Allâh; when the
rebellious slave dies, people, land, trees and animals are relieved of
him.”
For the believer, death brings a respite
from the distress, worries and pain of this life, as is stated in the hadîth: “When the believer is about to die, the angels of mercy bring
white silk and say, ‘Come out content, with the pleasure of Allâh upon
you, to the mercy of Allâh and sweet fragrance and a Lord who is not
angry.’ So (the soul) comes out like the best fragrance of musk and the
angels hand it to one another until they bring it to the gate of heaven.
They say, ‘How good is this fragrance that has come from the earth.’
They bring it to the souls of the believers, and they rejoice over it much
more than you do when one who has been absent returns. They ask him,
‘What did So-and-so do? What did So-and-so do?’ then (the angels) say,
‘Leave him alone, for he was suffering the distress of the world.’
When he asks, ‘Did not So-and-so come to you?’ they say: ‘He was
taken to his home in the Pit (i.e., Hell).’ When the kâfir is about to
die, angels of punishment bring sackcloth and say, ‘Come out discontent,
with the wrath of Allâh upon you, to the punishment of Allâh.’ So (the
soul) comes out like the worst stench of rotten meat, and they take it to
the gate of the earth. They say, ‘How foul is this stench,’ until they
bring it to the souls of the kuffâr.”
This understanding of the reality of this
world makes it easier for the believer to bear afflictions, pains,
distress and anxiety, because he knows that they are an inevitable part of
the nature of this life.
4. Following the examples of the
Prophets and the righteous
The Prophets and the righteous suffered
more distress in this world than other people. Each person is tested
according to the strength of his faith. If Allâh loves a person, He tests
him. Sa’d (may Allâh be pleased with him) asked the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him): “O Messenger of Allâh, which of the people suffers the most distress?” He said: “The
Prophets, then those who come after them (in terms of status), then those
who come after them. A man will be tested according to the strength of his
faith. If his faith is strong, then the distress with which he is tried
will be greater; if his faith is weak, he will be tested in accordance
with the level of his faith. Distress will keep on befalling the slave
until he walks on the face of the earth free from sin.”
5. Making the Hereafter one’s main
concern
The concerns of this world overwhelm
and confuse people, but if the slave makes the Hereafter his main concern,
Allâh will help him to focus and be determined, as was narrated by Anas
(may Allâh be pleased with him): “The Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: ‘Whoever has
the Hereafter as his main concern, Allâh will fill his heart with a
feeling of richness and independence; he will be focused and feel content,
and this world will come to him in spite of it. Whoever has this world as
his main concern, Allâh will cause him to feel constant fear of poverty;
he will be distracted and unfocused, and he will have nothing of this
world except what was already predestined for him.’”
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allâh have mercy on
him) said: “When a person spends his entire day with no other concern
but Allâh alone, Allâh, may He be glorified, will take care of all his
needs and take care of all that is worrying him; He will empty his heart
so that it will be filled only with love for Him, free his tongue so that
it will speak only in remembrance of Him (dhikr) and cause all his
faculties to work only in obedience to Him. But if a person spends his
entire day with no other concern but this world, Allâh will make him bear
its distress, anxiety and pain; He will leave him to sort himself out, and
cause his heart to be distracted from the love of Allâh towards the love
of some created being, cause his tongue to speak only in remembrance of
that creation instead of remembering Allâh, and cause his faculties to
work in obeying and serving them. So he will strive hard, labouring like
some work-animal, to serve something other than Allâh… Everyone who
turns away from being a true slave of Allâh and obeying Him and loving
Him will be burdened with servitude, love and obedience to some created
being. Allâh says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And whosoever turns
away (blinds himself) from the remembrance of the Most Beneficent (Allâh),
We appoint for him a shaytân (devil) to be a qareen (intimate companion)
to him.’ [al-Zukhruf 43:36].”
6. A surprisingly effective remedy:
remembering death
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: “Remember
frequently the one who will destroy all your pleasures: death, for there
is no-one who remembers death when in straitened circumstances, but his
situation will become easier, and there is no-one who remembers death
during times of ease, but his circumstances will become straitened.”
7. Praying to Allâh, may He be exalted
Du’aa’ (prayer or supplication) is
very beneficial, and includes both protection and treatment. As far as
protection in concerned, the Muslim is obliged to turn to Allâh and pray
to Him for refuge from distress and to keep him away from it, as the
Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allâh be upon him) used to do. His servant Anas (may Allâh be pleased
with him) tells us: “I used to serve the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) when he stayed in Madinah
(i.e. was not travelling). I often used to hear him saying:
‘Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika min al-hamm wa’l-hazn wa’l-‘ajz
wa’l-kasal wa’l-bukhl wa’l-jubn wa dala’ al-dayn wa ghalbat al-rijaal
(O Allâh, I seek refuge with You from distress, grief, incapacity,
laziness, miserliness, cowardice, the burden of debt and from being
overpowered by men).’”
This du’a is very effective in
preventing distress before it happens; prevention is better, and easier,
than cure.
When one is worried about what may happen
in the future, the following du’aa’ is very beneficial. Abu Hurayrah
(may Allâh be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) used to say:
“Allaahumma aslih li deeni alladhi huwa ‘ismat amri wa aslih li
dunyaaya allati fihaa ma’aashi wa aslih li aakhirati allati fihaa
ma’aadi w’aj’al al-hayaata ziyaadatan li fi kulli khayri w’aj’al
al-mawta raahatan li min kulli sharr (O Allaah, make me adhere properly to
my religion, on which all my affairs depend; make this world good for me
in which is my livelihood; make my Hereafter good for me, in which is my
ultimate destiny; make my life increase in every good thing and make my
death a respite from every evil).”
When distress and pain befall a person, the
door of dúa is always open to him; it is never closed. When one
calls upon the Most Generous, He will respond and give. Allâh says
(interpretation of the meaning): “And when My slaves ask you concerning
Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I
respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without
any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so
that they may be led aright.” [al-Baqarah 2:186]
One of the greatest du’as which take
away distress and anxiety and bring joy is the famous du’a which the
Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allâh be upon him) encouraged everyone who hears it to learn it by
heart:
The Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: “There is
no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: ‘Allaahumma
inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatija naasyati bi yadika, maada fiyya
hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka
sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min
khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al
al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa dhihaab
hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your
maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever
executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name
belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your
Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the
knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur'ân the life of
my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a
release for my anxiety),’ but Allâh will take away his distress and
grief, and replace it with joy.” He was asked: “O Messenger of Allâh,
should we learn this?” He said: “Of course; everyone who hears it
should learn it.”
This important hadîth indicates the
following: the slave should admit that he belongs to Allâh and that he
cannot do without Him and has no other master than Allâh; that he should
be a slave to Allâh, announce his submission to Him, obey His
commandments and heed His prohibitions; that Allâh is directing and
controlling him as He wills; that he should demonstrate his submission to Allâh
and his acceptance of His decree; that he should pray to Allâh,
using all His Names, then ask for what he needs.
A number of other du’aa’s to do with
distress and anxiety have also been narrated in the Sunnah. They include
the following:
Ibn ‘Abbaas reported that when the
Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) felt distressed, he would say: “Laa
ilaaha ill-Allaah al-‘Azeem al-Haleem, laa ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb al-‘Arsh
al-‘azeem, la ilaaha ill-Allaah Rabb al-samawaat wa Rabb al-ard wa Rabb
al-‘Arsh al-kareem (There is no god but Allaah, the All-Powerful, the
Forbearing; there is no god but Allaah, Lord of the mighty Throne; there
is no god but Allaah, Lord of heaven, Lord of earth, and Lord of the noble
Throne).”
Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him)
reported that when the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was distressed by
something, he would say: “Yaa Hayyu yaa Qayyoom bi rahmatika astagheeth
(O Ever-Living, O Eternal, by Your mercy I seek help).”
Asmaa’ bint ‘Umayr said: “The
Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said to me: ‘Shall I not teach you
some words which you can say at times of distress? ‘Allaah Allâh rabbee
laa ushriku bihi shay’an (Allâh Allâh is my Lord, I do not associate
anything with Him).’”
Another of the beneficial du’aa’s which
the Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him) taught us is the one he told us about
when he said: “The du’aa’ of the person who is in distress is:
‘Allaahumma rahmataka arjoo fa laa takilni ilaa nafsi tarfat ‘ayn
w’aslih li sha’ni kullahu laa ilaaha illa anta (O Allâh, for Your
mercy I hope, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for the
blink of an eye; rectify all my affairs. There is no god except You)’”
If a person thinks about the meaning of
these du’aa’s and prays with concentration and a sincere intention,
doing all those things that can help to bring about a response, Allaah
will fulfil his hopes and do the things asked for; He will turn his
distress into joy.
If the du’aa’ comes from a heart which
is filled with faith, it will dispel worry and bring comfort. The scholars
have mentioned many stories of people who prayed to Allâh in times of
calamity and distress, and Allâh responded to their prayer and saved them
from an enemy, or from drowning, or from starvation or disaster. One
example is the story of what happened to the great Sahaabi al-‘Alaa al-Hadrami,
who was one of the most prominent scholars and devoted worshippers, one of
the close friends (awliyaa’) of Allâh whose du’aa’s are answered.
During the campaign against the apostates of Bahrain, he pitched camp, but
before the people could settle down, the camels bolted, carrying away all
the provisions of the army, including their tents and water, leaving them
with nothing but the clothes they were wearing. It was night-time, and
they could not restrain even one camel. The people were filled with
indescribable distress and alarm, and some of them began making wills to
one another (because they felt that death was inevitable). Al-‘Alaa’
called the people together and said: “O people, are you not Muslims? Are
you not striving for the sake of Allâh? Are you not the ansaar
(supporters) of Allâh?” They said, “Of course.” He said, “Then be
of good cheer, for Allâh will not forsake anyone who is in your
situation.” When the time for Fajr prayer came, he called the people to
pray and led them in prayer, then he knelt up, and the people did
likewise. He started to pray (make du’aa’), raising his hands, and the
people did likewise. They prayed until the sun rose, and the people began
to look at the mirages caused by the sun, shimmering one after another,
all the while fervently praying. When he reached the third [??], Allâh
created a great stream of fresh water beside them. [‘Alaa’] walked
towards it, and the people followed him, then they drank and washed
themselves. Before the sun had reached its zenith, the camels started to
come back from all directions, bringing the supplies loaded on them, so
the people did not lose anything at all, and they were able to give water
to the camels. This is one of the signs of Allâh witnessed by the people
during that campaign. (Al-Bidaayah wa’l-Nihaayah: Dhikr riddat ahl al-Bahrayn
wa ‘awdatihim).
8. Praying for the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) (i.e., saying
“Allaahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad,” etc.)
This is one of the greatest ways
through which Allâh may relieve worries:
Al-Tufayl ibn Ubayy ibn Ka’b reported
that his father said: “When two-thirds of the night had passed,
the Messenger of Allâh (peace and
blessings of Allâh be upon him) got up and said: ‘O people, remember Allâh,
remember Allâh. The first blowing of the Trumpet has come, and will be
followed by the second blowing. Death has come, with all that it implies,
death has come with all that it implies.’ I said: ‘O Messenger of Allâh,
I pray a lot for you. How much of my prayers should I devote to you?’ He
said, ‘As much as you want.’ I said, ‘A quarter?’ He said, ‘As
much as you want, and if you increase it, it will be good for you.’ I
said, ‘Half?’ He said, ‘As much as you want, and if you increase it,
it will be good for you.’ I said, ‘Two-thirds?’ He said, ‘As much
as you want, and if you increase it, it will be good for you.’ I said,
‘I will devote all my prayer to you.’ He said, ‘Then your worries
will be taken care of and your sin will be forgiven.’”
9. Relying upon Allâh and entrusting
matters to Him
“When a person knows that Allâh is
Able to do all things, that He alone makes choices for His slaves and runs
their affairs, that the way He runs His slave’s affairs is better than
the way the slave would do it for himself, that He knows better about the
slave’s interests than the slave does, that He is more able to achieve
them, that He is more sincere and more merciful towards His slave than the
slave is to himself; and also knows that he cannot progress or regress any
further than the limits that Allâh has decreed for him, for nobody can
change the will and decree of Allâh – when a person knows all this, he
will submit himself to his Lord and hand over his affairs to Him, throwing
himself before his Lord like a weak slave throwing himself before a mighty
and powerful king. Allâh deals with His slave as He wishes, and the
slave has nothing to do with it. Only after he has submitted thus will the
slave feel relief from his distress, worries and regrets. He gives the
burden of his needs and interests to One Who is not concerned about how
heavy or great the burden is. Allâh will take care of it, instead
of him, and will show him His kindness and mercy, without the slave
getting tired or worried, because all his concern is now focused on Allâh
alone. His worry about his needs and interests in this world has been
lifted from him and his heart is now free of this concern. How good his
life is now, how blessed his heart and how great his happiness and joy!
But as for the person who insists on
running his own affairs and making his own choices, whose concern is only
for his own share and not for his duties towards his Lord, Allâh will
leave him alone with the choices he has made, so he will be surrounded by
concerns, worries, distress, grief, fear, exhaustion and depression. His
thoughts will be confused, none of his deeds will be pure and none of his
hopes will be fulfilled. He will gain no respite, and will enjoy no
pleasure. He will never feel joy or contentment. He will be laboring like
a working-animal, with no hope of gaining anything that could help him in
the Hereafter.”
“When a person relies upon Allâh and
puts his trust in Him, he is not controlled by bad illusions. He trusts in
Allâh and hopes for bounty from Him, which protects him from distress and
worry, as well as many psychological and physical diseases. Thus his heart
gains indescribable strength, relaxation and joy. The one who is truly
free from problems is the one whom Allâh has freed and helped to strive
against his own-self (jihaad al-nafs) by seeking beneficial means of
strengthening his heart and dispelling anxiety. Allâh says
(interpretation of the meaning): “… And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh,
then He will suffice him…” [al-Talaaq 65:3] – i.e., He will take
care of everything that is of concern to him, whether it has to do with
his religion or his worldly affairs.
The person who relies on Allâh is strong
in heart and is not adversely affected by illusions or things that happen,
because he knows that this is a sign of weakness and fear that is
unfounded. He also knows that Allâh has guaranteed to take complete care
of the one who puts his trust in Him, so he trusts Allâh and has
confidence in His promise. Thus his worries and anxiety disappear,
hardship is replaced with ease, sadness turns to joy and fear turns to a
feeling of security. We ask Allâh to keep us safe and to bless us with
strength of heart and steadfastness through complete reliance on Him, for
He has guaranteed all goodness and protection from all evil and harm to
those who put their trust in Him.”
10. Other ways of dispelling distress
and anxiety include paying attention to what is beneficial, focusing on
what matters today and no longer worrying about what may happen tomorrow
or regretting what happened yesterday
Hence the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) sought refuge with Allâh
from worry and regret: regret for things that have happened in the
past which one cannot go back and change, and worries about what may
happen in the future. The slave should think only about the present,
focusing his energy on doing his best today, because this is what results
in perfect work, and helps him to forget his worries and regrets. When the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) prayed a du’aa’,
or taught it to his ummah, he encouraged them not only to seek the help of
Allâh and hope for His blessings, but also to work hard and strive to
achieve the protection they prayed for, for du’aa’ goes hand-in-hand
with effort. Thus the slave will strive for whatever benefits him in his
religion or his worldly affairs, and will ask his Lord to grant him the
result for which he is aiming. He asks Allâh for help, just as Abu
Hurayrah reported: “The Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: ‘The strong
believer is better and more beloved to Allâh than the weak believer, and
both are good. Pay attention to that which could benefit you, seek the
help of Allâh and do not feel incapacitated. If anything befalls you, do
not say, “If only I had done such-and-such, such a thing would have
happened.” Say instead, “It is the decree of Allâh, and what He
wills, He does,” for saying “if only…” opens the way for Shaytân.’”
Thus the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) established a link
between, on the one hand, his command to strive for beneficial things in
every situation, seeking the help of Allâh, and not giving in to feelings
of inadequacy which the harmful kind of laziness, and, on the other,
giving in to regret for things in the past which are over and done with,
and thinking about the will and decree of Allâh. He described things as
being of two types: things which the slave can strive to achieve either in
totality or as much as he can, or can protect himself from them, or lessen
their impact, by making an effort and seeking the help of Allâh; and
others about which he cannot do anything, so he should accept them and be
content. Undoubtedly, paying attention to this principle will bring about
happiness and dispel worry and distress.
The hadîth quoted above indicates that one
should strive to eliminate the causes of distress and bring about causes
of happiness, by forgetting about bad things in the past that cannot be
changed, and by realizing that to spend too much time thinking about such
an impossible task is a foolish and crazy waste of time. So one should try
not to think about it, and try not to feel anxious about the future or
imagine fear and poverty that may or may not lie ahead. We should realize
that the future, whether good or bad, is something unknown; it is in the
hands of the Almighty, All-Wise, not in the hands of His slaves, and all
they have to do is to strive for the good things and protect themselves
from bad things. The slave should know that if he distracts his mind from
worries about the future and puts his trust in his Lord, then Allâh will
take care of it and his worry and anxiety will disappear.
11. One of the most effective ways of
finding comfort and contentment is to remember Allâh frequently
Dhikr (remembrance of Allâh) has a
wonderful effect in calming the soul and relieving stress and worry. Allâh
says (interpretation of the meaning): “…
Verily, in the remembrance of Allâh do hearts find rest.” [al-Ra’d
13:28]
The greatest phrase of dhikr that can
relieve the distress of death is: “Laa ilaaha ill-Allâh (there is no
god except Allâh).” This is what Talhah told ‘Umar, may Allâh be
pleased with him: “I heard the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) say a word which no
slave says at the time of death but Allâh will ease his distress and
brighten his colour. It was only the fear that I might not be able to do
it that prevented me from asking him about it before he died.” ‘Umar
(may Allâh be pleased with him) said: “I know what it is.” Talhah
asked, “What is it?” ‘Umar (may Allâh be pleased with him) said:
“Do you know any word greater that what he told his uncle to say? –
‘Laa ilaaha ill-Allâh’.” Talhah said, “That’s it, by Allâh,
that’s it!”
12. Seeking refuge in prayer
Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“And seek help in patience and al-salaat (the prayer)…”
[al-Baqarah 2:45].
Hudhayfah said: “Whenever the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) was grieved by
something, he used to pray.” When Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allâh be pleased
with him) heard about the death of his brother, he stopped at the side of
the road – as he was on a journey – and prayed, following the command
of Allâh.
13. Another thing that may dispel worry
is jihad for the sake of Allâh.
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: “You must
strive in jihad for the sake of Allâh, may He be blessed and exalted,
for it is one of the gates to Paradise, and Allâh dispels worry and
distress through it.”
14. Speaking about the blessings of Allâh, both those which are obvious and those which are hidden
Acknowledging them and speaking about
them dispels worry and distress. The slave is encouraged to have the
attitude of thankfulness, which is the highest level he can reach, even if
he is in a state of poverty, sickness or other kinds of misery. If he were
to compare the innumerable blessings that Allâh has bestowed upon him
with the bad thing that has befallen him, he will see that the distress is
as nothing in comparison to the blessings. When Allâh tests His slave by
means of these disasters and miseries, and the slave does his duty of
being patient and accepting, then the difficulties become easy for him to
bear, and he has the hope of earning reward from Allâh for submitting to
Him, and being patient and content. This makes bitter things sweet; the
sweetness of the reward helps him to forget the bitterness of patience.
One of the most beneficial things in this
regard is to follow the advice of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) given in the sahih hadîth
reported by Abu Hurayrah: “The Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: ‘Look at those
who are below you, not at those who are above you, so that you will not
think little of the blessings that Allâh has bestowed upon you.”
If a person keeps this important concept
(of looking only at those below him) in mind, he will definitely feel that
he is better-off than many others when it comes to good health, physical
strength, and provision (rizq) such as food, clothing, shelter, etc., no
matter what his situation. So his anxiety and distress will disappear, and
he will feel increased happiness and joy in the blessings of Allâh which
have raised him above others.
The more he thinks about the blessings of Allâh, both obvious and hidden, spiritual and worldly, he will see that
his Lord has given him many good things, and has lifted from him many bad
things. No doubt this too will dispel worries and anxieties, and bring joy
and happiness.
15. Keeping oneself busy with useful
work or the pursuit of beneficial knowledge
This will distract a person’s mind
from the matter that has been causing anxiety. Maybe then he will forget
the causes of his distress, and begin to feel happier and more energetic.
This is something which both believers and non-believers may try to do,
but the believer is distinguished by the fact of his îmân (faith), his
sincerity and his hope for reward when he occupies himself with learning
or teaching something useful or doing something beneficial. If he is
keeping himself busy with worship, then this is worship, and if he is
keeping himself busy with some worldly work or custom, then he tries to
accompany it with the right intention, and seeks the help of Allâh to do
this thing as an act of obedience or worship to Him. Thus his action will
be effective in dispelling his anxiety, stress and grief. How many people
are suffering from anxiety and constant feelings of depression, which
result in various kinds of disease and illness. The right treatment for
them was: to forget the thing that caused the depression and worry, and to
keep themselves busy with some important work. It was important that the
work with which they kept themselves busy was something that they liked to
do and looked forward to; this was more effective in bringing about the
desired good results. And Allâh knows best.
16. Looking for the positive aspects of
the events in which he tends to see only things that he dislikes.
Abu Hurayrah said: “The Messenger of Allâh (peace and blessings
of Allâh be upon him) said: ‘No believing man should hate a believing
woman. If he dislikes one aspect of her character, he will be pleased with
another.’”
The benefits of this hadîth include:
lifting anxiety and stress, preserving tranquillity, continued upholding
of the duties which are either obligatory or encouraged, and the
achievement of peace between the two parties. Anyone who is not guided by
the Prophet’s words, but does the opposite, will see only the negative
aspects of a situation, and will be blinded to the positive aspects. So it
is inevitable that he will become anxious and depressed, the relationships
between him and those with whom he is in close contact will turn sour, and
he will neglect many of the mutual duties that both parties should pay
attention to.
17. Understanding the true value and
shortness of this life, and that time is too precious to be wasted in
stress and anxiety
The wise person understands that his
true life is one of joy and contentment. Life is very short, and he should
not let himself get carried away with distress and depression that will
make it even shorter. This goes against the true idea of life, so he is
reluctant to spend too much of his life in distress and depression. In
this regard, there is little difference between the righteous and the
rebellious, but the believer can achieve this in the best way, in a way
that benefits him both in this world and in the Hereafter. When misfortune
strikes, or when he is afraid of something bad happening to him, he should
also compare the blessings that he enjoys, both spiritual and worldly,
with whatever misfortune has befallen him. When he does this, he will see
just how much blessing he has, and the bad things will be put into
perspective. Similarly, he can make a comparison between the thing he
fears will harm him and the far greater possibility that he will be kept
safe from it: the faint possibility that he may be harmed is far
outweighed by the greater positive possibilities, and so his anxiety will
be relieved. He takes into account the most likely scenario so that he can
try to prepare himself in case it does happen, and he takes measures to
protect himself against things that have not happened, or to alleviate or
reduce the impact of things that have happened.
18. Another beneficial measure is not to
allow one’s work and other duties to accumulate
This means taking decisive action
immediately, so that one is free to deal with whatever comes up in the
future, because things that are not dealt with immediately pile up and are
added to previous work that should have been done, thus making the burden
even heavier. If you deal with everything at the right time, you will be
free to deal with whatever lies ahead with a focused mind and adequate
strength.
You should prioritize your work in order of
importance, and try to choose things that interest you and that you enjoy,
otherwise you will become bored and fed up. You can help yourself to
achieve this by thinking clearly and consulting others, for one need never
regret consultation. Study what you want to do in depth, and once you are
sure about what action is needed to achieve your interest and have
resolved to go ahead, then put your trust in Allaah, for Allaah loves
those who put their trust in Him.
19. Constantly anticipating and being
prepared for all possibilities
If a person is prepared for the
possibility of the loss of a loved one, the sickness of a relative,
incurring a debt, being overpowered by an enemy, or any other unpleasant
possibility that has not yet happened – whilst seeking refuge with Allâh
and hoping to be safe from it – then if his fears materialize,
their impact will not be so great because he has already anticipated them
and prepared himself to deal with them.
One important point that we should make is
the fact that many ambitious people are prepared to deal with major
calamities in a calm and patient manner, but they are unduly worried and
stressed by trivial problems. The reason for this is that they prepare
themselves to face major problems, but forget to prepare themselves to
cope with minor troubles, which consequently cause them harm. The prudent
person prepares himself to deal with both major and minor problems, and
asks Allâh to help him and not leave him to deal with it by himself for
even the blink of an eye. Thus both major and minor troubles become easier
to bear, and he remains calm and serene.
20. Another remedy is to complain to
religious scholars and ask them for advice
Their advice and opinions are among the
things that can be of the greatest help in remaining steadfast at times of
calamity. The Sahaabah used to complain to the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) about the torture they
were suffering…
Khabbaab ibn al-Aratt (may Allâh be
pleased with him) said: “We complained to the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) when he was reclining
on his cloak in the shade of the Ka’bah. We said to him: ‘Why do you
not ask Allâh to help us (grant us victory)? Why do you not pray to Allâh
for us?’ He said, ‘A man from the people before you would be
placed in a hole dug for him, then they would bring a saw and cut his head
in two, yet that would not make him renounce his faith. They would use an
iron comb to drag the flesh and nerves from his bones, yet that would not
make him renounce his faith. By Allâh, this matter will be completed
(i.e. Islam will be perfected and will prevail) until a rider travelling
from Sana’aa’ to Hadramawt will fear nobody but Allâh or the attack
of a wolf on his sheep, but you are too impatient.’”
The Taabi’een also complained to the
Sahaabah. Al-Zubayr ibn ‘Adiyy said: “We came to Anas ibn Maalik and
complained to him about what we were suffering at the hands of al-Hajjaaj.
He told us: ‘Be patient, for there will come no time but the time after
it is worse, until you meet your Lord. I heard that from your Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him).’
So the Muslim will hear from the scholars
and leaders words which will help him and alleviate his pain, distress and
anxiety.
Similarly, one can also seek the help of
sincere brothers, wise relatives and faithful spouses. When Fatimah (may Allâh
be pleased with her) felt distress, she complained to her husband
‘Ali (may Allâh be pleased with him). ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allâh
be pleased with him and his father) tells us the story: the
Messenger of Allâh (peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) came to visit
Fatimah, but he found a curtain over her door, so he did not enter. It
was very rare for him to enter without greeting her so when ‘Ali (may Allâh
be pleased with him) came, he saw that she was worried and upset.
He asked, “What is the matter?” She said, “The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) came to me, but he did
not come in.” So ‘Ali (may Allâh be pleased with him) went to him and
said: “O Messenger of Allâh, Fatimah feels very upset because you came
to her but you did not come in.” He said, “I have nothing to do with
these worldly things and fancy decorations.” So ‘Ali went to told
Fatimah what the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) had said. She said,
“Ask the Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him) what I should do with it.” He said,
“tell her to send it to Banu So-and-so.” (It was a curtain that was
decorated with embroidery and so on).
Going to a man who is
wise and has sound opinions can also help to dispel anxiety.
Al-Mugheerah, the freed slave of al-Waleed,
said: “I entered upon al-Waleed and found him looking worried. I asked,
‘What is worrying you, O Ameer al-Mu’mineen?’ He said, ‘The number
of Muslims has increased, and the mosque is becoming too small for them. I
offered them money for the rest of this church, so that I could take it
and add it to the mosque, to make the place big enough for the Muslims,
but they refused.’ Al-Mugheerah said: ‘O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, I have
an idea that may relieve your worry.’ He asked, ‘What is it?’ I
said: ‘When the Sahaabah took Damascus, Khaalid ibn al-Waleed entered
through the Eastern Gate, conquering by the sword. When the people heard
of this, they rushed towards Abu ‘Ubaydah (who was laying siege to
another gate of the city), asking him for protection. He granted them
protection, so they opened the Gate of Jaabiyah for him. Abu ‘Ubaydah
entered peacefully, having made a truce with the people. We should find
out how far the military seizure of land reached, and take it, but the
areas covered by the truce should be left in their hands. I hope that all
of the church will be on land seized militarily, so that you can
incorporate it into the mosque.’ Al-Waleed said: ‘You have made me
feel much better. Take care of this matter yourself.’ So al-Mugheerah
took care of it; he surveyed the area extending from the Eastern Gate
towards the Gate of Jaabiyah, as far as Sooq al-Rayhaan, and found that
the military seizure of territory had continued as far as a little more
than four cubits beyond the Great Arch, so the church could be
incorporated into the mosque. So al-Waleed sent word to the Christians to
tell them: ‘The whole of this church lies in the territory which was
seized militarily, so it belongs to us, not to you.’ They said:
‘Initially you offered us money and land, and we refused. Be generous
and give us what you offered us originally, so that we may settle this
matter peaceably, and we will give you the rest of the church.’ So the
matter was settled peaceably.” (Al-Badaayah wa’l-Nihaayah fi Seerat
al-Waleed).
21. The person who is distressed or
worried should know that after hardship comes ease
So he should think positively and
realize that Allâh will make a way out for him. The more intense his
stress and depression is, the closer he is to relief and a way out.
Allâh says in Soorat al-Sharh
(interpretation of the meaning): “So verily, with the hardship, there is
relief, verily, with the hardship, there is relief.” [al-Sharh 94:5-6].
In effect, hardship is mentioned once, and relief is mentioned twice,
because the definite article (“al”) indicates that the hardship
mentioned in the first aayah quoted is the same as that mentioned in the
second, whereas the fact that relief is mentioned in an indefinite form
(with tanween) shows that the relief mentioned in the second âyah is
different from that mentioned in the first.
The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) advised Ibn ‘Abbaas
(may Allâh be pleased with him and his father): “Know that victory (or
achievement) comes through patience, and that ease comes through
hardship…”
22. Another remedy for distress is
certain kinds of food
Al-Bukhaari (may Allâh have mercy on
him) reports that ‘Aa’ishah used to order talbeen for people who were
sick or had been stricken by tragedy, and she would say: “I heard the
Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘Talbeen warms the heart of
the sick person and alleviates some of a person’s grief.’”
Al-Bukhaari also narrated from
‘Aa’ishah, the wife of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) that whenever a member
of her family died, and the women gathered together then dispersed, except
for her family and close friends, she would ask for a pot of talbeen, then
she would cook it, make thareed [a dish of sopped bread, meat and broth]
and pour the talbeen over it, then tell the women: “Eat from it, for I
heard the Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him) say that talbeen is the cure for the
heart of the sick person and alleviates some of a person’s grief.”
Talbeen is a soup or broth made from flour
or bran to which honey is added. It is called talbeen because it resembles
milk (laban). It is cooked from ground barley.
Saying that it is a cure for the heat of
the sick person means that it relaxes him, gives him energy and alleviates
his grief and distress.
Ahmad (may Allâh have mercy on him)
reported that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Whenever the Messenger of Allâh
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him) heard that someone was
sick or in pain, and not eating, he would say: ‘You should make talbeen
and let him sip it. By the One in Whose hand is my soul, it will cleanse
the stomach of any one of you just as you wash the dirt from your faces
with water.’”
Al-Tirmidhi reported that ‘Aa’ishah
said: “Whenever any member of his family fell ill, he would order that
soup or broth be made for them, then he would tell them to sip it. He used
to say, ‘It makes the grieving heart strong and cleanses the heart of
the sick person, just as any of you cleanses the dirt from her face with
water.’”
Even though some people might find this
strange, this is a true matter, as it has been proven to be part of the
Revelation conveyed by the infallible Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allâh be upon him). Allâh has created all
kinds of food, and He knows best their characteristics, so the soup of
barley mentioned in the hadîth is one of the types of food that make
people feel better. And Allâh knows best.
With regard to the method of cooking this
food for the person who is physically sick or whose heart is stricken with
grief, Ibn Hijr (may Allâh have mercy on him) said: “What suits the
sick person is the water from barley that has been cooked whole, and what
suits the grieving person is the water from ground barley that has been
cooked. And Allâh knows best.”
Writings of Imâm Ibn al-Qayyim on
Treating Distress and Grief:
Following this discussion of cures, we will
pause to look briefly at the list written by Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allâh
have mercy on him) in which he lists fifteen kinds of remedies
through which Allâh may alleviate distress and grief:
- Tawhîd al-Rubobiyyah (Unity of Divine
Lordship)
- Tawhîd al-Ulohiyyah (Unity of
Divinity)
- Unity of belief, i.e. Tawhîd al-Asma’
wa’l-Siffaat (Unity of the Divine Names and Attributes).
- To declare that Allâh is far above
mistreating His slave or punishing him without any cause on the part
of the slave himself.
- Admission on the part of the slave that
he is the wrongdoer.
- Beseeching Allâh by the best of things,
which are His Names and Attributes. Among the most comprehensive in
meaning of His Names and Attributes are the Names al-Hayyu (the
Ever-Living), al-Qayoom (the Eternal).
- Seeking the help of Allâh Alone.
- Putting one’s hope in Allâh.
- Putting one’s trust in Allâh and
handing over all one’s affairs to Him, recognizing that one’s
forelock is in His hand, that Allâh runs all one’s affairs as He
wills, that His command is ever executed and that His decree is just.
- Reading Qur'ân and pondering its
meaning, seeking consolation in it for all disasters, and seeking a
cure in it for all diseases of the heart (i.e., spiritual or
psychological diseases) for it washes away grief and heals his
distress and anxiety.
- Seeking the forgiveness of Allâh.
- Repentance
- Jihad (striving for the sake of Allâh).
- Salat (prayer)
- Admitting that one has no power or
strength at all, and attributing them to the One Who holds them in His
hand.
Du'aa' (supplication):
We ask Allâh, may He be exalted, to keep
us safe from distress, to grant us relief from depression and to alleviate
our worries, for He is the All-Hearing Who answers prayers, He is the
Ever-Living, Eternal.
Reminder:
Finally, let us remind ourselves that no
matter how great and how numerous the worries and distress of this world
may be, the distress and anguish of the Hereafter will be far greater.
This includes that which will befall all people when they are gathered all
together for Judgement. Al-Bukhâri (may Allâh have mercy on him)
reported from Abu Hurayrah (may Allâh be pleased with him) that the
Messenger of Allâh (peace
and blessings of Allâh be upon him) said: “I will be the master of all
people on the Day of Resurrection. Do you know why I will be the master of
all people? Allâh will gather together all the people, the first and the
last of them in one place, in such a way that if a caller calls out to
them, they will all hear him, and they will all be seen at once. The sun
will be brought close to them, and they will feel more distress than they
can bear. People will say, ‘Can you see what has happened to you?
Won’t you see who can intercede for you with your Lord?’ Then some of
them will say to others, ‘Let’s go to Adam…’”
There will be no cure for distress and
anguish on that Day unless one turns to Allâh today.
May Allâh bless our Prophet Muhammad and
his Family and Companions, who are the best of people. Praise be to Allâh
Who is overtaken by neither slumber nor sleep.
Muhammad Saalih al-Munajjid
P.O. Box 2999
Al-Khobar
Saudi Arabia
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