When Friends Hurt Each Other
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Creator: Muhammad Alshareef
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Identifier: http://www.khutbah.com/en/soc_issue/friends.php
Language: en
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Subject: character
Title: When Friends Hurt Each Other
Created on: Tue Jan 29 11:05:19 -0500 2008
Updated on: Tue Jan 29 11:05:19 -0500 2008
Version: 1
Abstract: ... d; he shall not find the fragrance of Jannah on the Day of Resurrection” (Abu Dawood). 2. Kindness and Gentleness To have hikmah when differing means we should rarely depart from an atmosphere of kindness and gentleness; we should seldom allow ourselves to become angry and raise our voices. Fir‘own was one of the evilest persons that lived. On the other hand, Musa alayhis sallam was one of the noblest. Look at how Allah told Musa alayhis sallam to advise Fir’own: Go, both of you, to Fir’own. Indeed, he has transgressed. And speak to him with gentle speech, perhaps he may remember or fear [Allah]. A man once entered upon the khalifah and chastised him for some policies he had taken. The khalifah replied, “By Allah, Fir’own was more evil than me. And by Allah, Musa alayhis sallam was more pious than you. Yet, Allah commanded him to ‘speak with gentle speech; perhaps he may remember or fear (Allah).]’” 3. Take Your Time and Clarify To have hikmah when dealing with others is to be patient and clarify things before snapping to conclusions. Imam Ahmad narrates with his chain of narrators leading to Ibn Abbas, who said: “A man from Banu Saleem passed by a group of the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam’s companions [during the time of war]. The man said as salaamu alaykum to them. The companions concluded that he only said as salamu alaykum as a deception to save himself from being caught. They surrounded him, and Malham ibn Juthaamah killed him. From that event Allah revealed the [following] verse:” O you who have believed, when you go forth (to fight) in the cause of Allah, investigate, and do not say to one who gives you [a greeting of peace], “You are not a believer,” aspiring for the goods of worldly life; for with Allah are many acquisitions. You [yourselves] were like that before; then Allah conferred His favor [i.e. guidance] upon you, so investigate. Indeed, Allah is aware with what you do, acquainted (An-Nisaa’ 4/94). 4. Speak Kindly Never trade-in kind words for harshness, especially when dealing with other Muslims. In Madinah, Mus’ab ibn Umayr was the first ambassador of RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam. Before RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam had arrived in Madinah, Mus’ab taught ahlul-Madinah about Islam, and they began to enter the deen. This enraged Sa’ad ibn ‘Ubaadah, one of the chieftains of Madinah. He sheathed his sword and set off for the head of Mus’ab ibn ‘Umayr. When he confronted Mus’ab, he threatened, “Stop this nonsense you speak, or you shall find yourself dead!” Mus’ab replied in the way that should be a lesson for us all. Sa’ad did not stop at rudeness and ignorance; he wanted to slit Mus’ab’s throat. But Mus’ab kindly said, “Shall you not sit and listen for a few moments. If you agree with what I say, then take it. And if not, we shall desist from this talk.” Sa’ad sat down. Mus’ab spoke about Allah and His Messenger until Sa’ad ibn ‘Ubaadah’s face shone like a full moon. He said, “What should a person do who wishes to enter into this Deen?” Mus’ab told him and then Sa’ad replied, “There is a man. If he accepts this deen there shall be no home in Madinah that will not become Muslim. This man is Sa’ad ibn Mu’aadh.” When Sa’d ibn Mu’aadh heard what was happening, he was infuriated. He left his home to go and kill this man called Mus’ab ibn Umayr for the dissention he had caused. He entered upon Mus’ab and announced, “You shall desist of this religion you speak of or you shall find yourself dead!” Mus’ab again kindly replied, “Shall you not sit and listen for a few moments. If you agree with what I say then take it. And if not, I shall desist from this talk.” Sa’ad sat. Mus’ab spoke about Allah and His messenger until Sa’ad ibn Mu’aadh’s face shone like a full moon and he asked, “What should a person do who wishes to enter into this Deen?” Look at what a kind word did. Sa’ad ibn Mu’aadh went home to his Madinan tribe that night and announced to them all, “Everything of yours is haram upon me until you all enter into Islam.” That night, every home in Madinah went to bed with la ilaaha illAllah all because of a kind word. PART II: Who Wins? When Mu’aawiyah ibn al-Hakam al-Salami came to Madinah from the desert, he did not know that it was forbidden to speak during the salah. He relates: “Whilst I was praying behind the Messenger of Allah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam, a man sneezed. So I said, ‘Yarhamuk Allah’ (may Allah have mercy on you). The people glared at me, so I said, ‘May my mother lose me! What is wrong with you that you are looking at me?’ They began to slap their thighs with their hands, and when I saw that they were indicating that I should be quiet, I stopped talking (i.e., I nearly wanted to answer them back, but I controlled myself and kept quiet).” “When the Messenger of Allah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam had finished praying – may my father and mother be sacrificed for him – he did not scold me, hit me, or put me in shame. I have never seen a better teacher than him before or since. He just said, ‘This prayer should contain nothing of the speech of men; it is only tasbeeh, takbeer and recitation of the Qur’an’” (Sahih Muslim). Islam showed us how to differ with one another. Some people think that we should never differ at all, and all disagreements should be avoided. Nay, this is an incorrect assumption, for the Qur’an and Sunnah show clearly that when a mistake is made it should be corrected. Indeed, helping others to do... [Full Article...]
